Introduction - Hello and Welcome!

Hello!

Welcome to my blog. I want to use this to find and get to know if there are others in my situation, and share wisdom and tips on how to make it, as a Nonbeliever in a Believing church.

Let me start here....

I recently tried Googling "Going to Church without believing in Jesus." I found... very little.

The vast majority of hits were the exact opposite of what I was looking for. "Being a Christian and believing in Jesus, without going to church." Apparently this is very popular with everyone these days.

But that isn't what I'm looking for.

My background and beliefs

I spent most of my childhood years involved in a Roman Catholic Church. I went through all the ceremonies, from baptism up to confirmation. I completed almost as many years of CCD, and with my grandma went to many important fundraisers, bakesales, and other functions.

I learned a ton about the church and the belief. Something just... didn't click.

I never bought into it, fully. I never accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. I never took the bible as truth. I couldn't, and really still can't, get into the stories of Jesus.

I just don't believe it.

And it's not something I feel I can ever change. I think religion is either something you're born into and believe from a childhood age, or something that great tragedy brings you into. And none of these apply to me.

What I am looking for

Part of what I miss, is the sense of community. I miss the feeling of belonging, being a part of something greater.


I miss the bake sales and the fundraisers, especially for those less fortunate.

Moreover, I miss getting together, seeing familiar friendly faces, and bathing in a presence of something greater than any of us alone.

See, I didn't believe in Jesus or the bible, but I DID believe in a higher power.

And in the midst of the mass, when everyone* is concentrating and focusing on the higher power, I couldn't help but get swept away in it.

I felt... I felt like everything was going to be ok. Like there was something beyond just my daily troubles. That there was more to life than just temporary happiness or pain. That there was something other, something permanent. I felt like, no matter what happened, this permanent thing, this world, was going to go on.

I imagine it's similar to meditation. It is meditative in a way, going to mass. Focusing so intently on something outside your daily life brings a peace I can't describe...

And that's what I miss. And that's why I want to go to mass.

The big problem

Obviously, the past two sections wouldn't jive with the average church goer.

There's also a lot of things in religion I don't agree with at all. Certain morals and beliefs are things that I simply do not hold true.

So what's am I to do?

I'm here to find out.

The plan

I want to go to church every week, but... I am scheduled to have a c-section in 3 weeks and give birth to my and my husbands first child. So, for certain weeks I may have to try youtube or tv services.

I will update with my feelings, hopefully weekly.

But also, I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

I hope I'm not the only one in this boat, and I'm curious to what people in other boats think as well.

So please, message me or leave a comment. I would love to hear from people!!